Everything we see is our reflection.
You may have heard this before, but what does it really mean?
Think about it this way; when you are having a really nice conversation with someone and you feel a true connection to them. You just feel completely in tune. The conversation is smooth and the energy feels really good. The person across from you is your reflection. You see their goodness, their kindness, their generosity, positivity, love and compassion and it feels good. This is your reflection looking back at you.
The above is a nice example and one that we can easily understand.
Now lets flip this on its head.
Now imagine you are sitting across from someone who infuriates you. Someone you don’t understand. You see their flaws, their anger, their deceit, their jealousy. Maybe this person is rigid, unflexible and unwilling to see things your way. Maybe they are spiteful, arrogant and closed minded. Whatever words and emotions you choose, this is also your reflection.
As opposed to the previous example, this one is hard to hear and your first reaction may well be to deny it and not even look at it. That would be a pity because you will be losing out on some truely empowering self-growth.
I do understand though. That was my first reaction too. I didn’t want to believe that I had anything in common with someone like this. If I’m being honest I believed that I was better than that type of person. I knew more, I was more positive and more kind. I do what I can for the growth of my soul and that should mean something, shouldn’t it? I believe it does. For me it means I can look at an idea like this and instead of shying away from it, I acknowledge where I am flawed and I own it.
I do believe that we are all more alike than we are different.
This is becoming more apparent to me as I grow. With every step forward I realize that even though I am a positive, loving, kind, compassionate person. I love my family and would do anything for them. I give to those around me and am a loving and responsible pet owner. I do my best every day to live my best life. I am also a flawed human being. I do sometimes give in to my ego, my shadow and I surrender to feelings of jealousy, anger, resentment and bitterness. I am exquisitely human.
I have found that it is so much easier to embrace my light than my darkness. It feels so much better to be complimented for something I have done or said than it is to acknowledge that I have done something wrong or unhealthy. Why is this?
We embrace our light because we believe in those moments that we are good. We feel brighter and lighter. We feel that we are being rewarded, and to some degree we are. (Unless you have issues with compliments of course. That may be an idea for another blog post.)
Embracing our darkness is difficult because we think these things make us bad. We’ve been told all our lives to be a good, to go with the crowd, be quiet, don’t do that, that was dumb, what were you thinking? etc.
We all feel the same feelings. We all think the same thoughts about ourselves, we’re all doing the best we can with what we’ve learned and the tools we’ve been given up to this point. This is why I feel it is so important to learn new tools, to continue to grow. I know that I am only doing as well as the tools I have been given.
The next time you are arguing with someone, stop yourself and remind yourself that whatever you think of that person is a direct reflection of your own inner self.
If you think that person is stupid, you believe the same of yourself at times. (Tell me you haven’t thought to yourself at some point, ‘That was stupid. I shouldn’t have done or said that.’)
If you think they are arrogant, you have that ability in you also.
If you believe them to be disgusting, where are you disgusted with yourself?
These are not easy thoughts to acknowledge. We want to believe we are better than that person, but we need to remember that we are all human. Everyone of us has the ability to sink to lower levels and rise to higher occasions. It’s choosing in each moment which person would you would rather be? Which choice are you going to make?
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohan
If you are frequently surrounded by people that bring out the worst in you. If you are constantly caught up in drama, worry and fear, it’s in your best interest to find another group of people to surround yourself with. If you try, and find yourself pulled back into the same circle time and again, it likely means that you have not learned your lesson yet and have something more to learn. This is not a bad thing, but I would encourage you to pay attention and if you have a hard time seeing the lesson for what it is, consult someone you trust to help you see it. Just remember to be open. You may not like what you hear.
Your reflection will also show you what your subconscious beliefs are. It will show you if you believe you deserve, love, respect, and compassion. It will show you if you are fearful and holding onto negative energy. If you want to see a good indication of your level of fear, just find a dog you don’t know, or maybe even one you do. They will tell you instantly if your energy is fearful or negative. Dogs pick up on your energy and if you are a fearful person they will let you know it.
So now will you pay attention? Practice for the next few days. Look at the situations in front of you as an example of your reflection. What is this saying to you? Can you hear it or will you be defensive and dismissive?
Let me know how you do and what you see. I love to hear from you!