What Your Reflection Can Tell You.

Everything we see is our reflection.

You may have heard this before, but what does it really mean?

Think about it this way; when you are having a really nice conversation with someone and you feel a true connection to them. You just feel completely in tune. The conversation is smooth and the energy feels really good. The person across from you is your reflection. You see their goodness, their kindness, their generosity, positivity, love and compassion and it feels good. This is your reflection looking back at you.

The above is a nice example and one that we can easily understand.

Now lets flip this on its head.

Now imagine you are sitting across from someone who infuriates you. Someone you don’t understand. You see their flaws, their anger, their deceit, their jealousy. Maybe this person is rigid, unflexible and unwilling to see things your way. Maybe they are spiteful, arrogant and closed minded. Whatever words and emotions you choose, this is also your reflection.
As opposed to the previous example, this one is hard to hear and your first reaction may well be to deny it and not even look at it. That would be a pity because you will be losing out on some truely empowering self-growth.

I do understand though. That was my first reaction too. I didn’t want to believe that I had anything in common with someone like this. If I’m being honest I believed that I was better than that type of person. I knew more, I was more positive and more kind. I do what I can for the growth of my soul and that should mean something, shouldn’t it? I believe it does. For me it means I can look at an idea like this and instead of shying away from it, I acknowledge where I am flawed and I own it.

I do believe that we are all more alike than we are different.

This is becoming more apparent to me as I grow. With every step forward I realize that even though I am a positive, loving, kind, compassionate person. I love my family and would do anything for them. I give to those around me and am a loving and responsible pet owner. I do my best every day to live my best life. I am also a flawed human being. I do sometimes give in to my ego, my shadow and I surrender to feelings of jealousy, anger, resentment and bitterness. I am exquisitely human.

I have found that it is so much easier to embrace my light than my darkness. It feels so much better to be complimented for something I have done or said than it is to acknowledge that I have done something wrong or unhealthy. Why is this?

We embrace our light because we believe in those moments that we are good. We feel brighter and lighter. We feel that we are being rewarded, and to some degree we are. (Unless you have issues with compliments of course. That may be an idea for another blog post.)

Embracing our darkness is difficult because we think these things make us bad. We’ve been told all our lives to be a good, to go with the crowd, be quiet, don’t do that, that was dumb, what were you thinking? etc.

We all feel the same feelings. We all think the same thoughts about ourselves, we’re all doing the best we can with what we’ve learned and the tools we’ve been given up to this point. This is why I feel it is so important to learn new tools, to continue to grow. I know that I am only doing as well as the tools I have been given.

The next time you are arguing with someone, stop yourself and remind yourself that whatever you think of that person is a direct reflection of your own inner self.

If you think that person is stupid, you believe the same of yourself at times. (Tell me you haven’t thought to yourself at some point, ‘That was stupid. I shouldn’t have done or said that.’)
If you think they are arrogant, you have that ability in you also.
If you believe them to be disgusting, where are you disgusted with yourself?

These are not easy thoughts to acknowledge. We want to believe we are better than that person, but we need to remember that we are all human. Everyone of us has the ability to sink to lower levels and rise to higher occasions. It’s choosing in each moment which person would you would rather be? Which choice are you going to make?

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohan

If you are frequently surrounded by people that bring out the worst in you. If you are constantly caught up in drama, worry and fear, it’s in your best interest to find another group of people to surround yourself with. If you try, and find yourself pulled back into the same circle time and again, it likely means that you have not learned your lesson yet and have something more to learn. This is not a bad thing, but I would encourage you to pay attention and if you have a hard time seeing the lesson for what it is, consult someone you trust to help you see it. Just remember to be open. You may not like what you hear.

Your reflection will also show you what your subconscious beliefs are. It will show you if you believe you deserve, love, respect, and compassion. It will show you if you are fearful and holding onto negative energy. If you want to see a good indication of your level of fear, just find a dog you don’t know, or maybe even one you do. They will tell you instantly if your energy is fearful or negative. Dogs pick up on your energy and if you are a fearful person they will let you know it.

So now will you pay attention? Practice for the next few days. Look at the situations in front of you as an example of your reflection. What is this saying to you? Can you hear it or will you be defensive and dismissive?

Let me know how you do and what you see. I love to hear from you!

Much Love!

Jennifer

How To Stop Staying Stuck

You always have choices in this life. One of those choices is whether you wish to stay stuck in any challenging situation you find yourself in or will you choose to do the work necessary to make changes, look at yourself honestly, challenge what you think you know, trust the process and come out on the other side more empowered.

“Why do you think you’re healing so much better now? Why the shift?”

A friend asked me this question recently after months of back and forth, from feeling slightly better and somewhat hopeful to that deep ache in my back and sometimes down my legs which signalled that I needed to slow down yet again, I was finally starting to see the light. I am having more good days than bad. My answer at the time, was that I have had a few aha moments that have helped me see where I was stuck in certain areas of my life, places where I was holding onto energy and things that no longer served me. After reflecting on this a little more, I still believe that, but I also believe that the bigger picture, the biggest reason for the shift is that I am learning to surrender and let go. I have decided to stop trying to push through, but rather to allow the process to happen in it’s own way and it’s own time. It’s not that I’m anymore patient than I was before. I have a love/dislike relationship with that word. To me surrender and patience are not the same thing. Surrender is to let go and allow it to happen, trusting in the process. Patience on the other hand is to be okay with where I am and not concerned with how long it’s taking to get to the other side.
I am definitely not patient! I want the process to be over yesterday and get on with living my life. However, I have also learned that this is completely out of my hands and the only power I have is to surrender and trust that everything is happening as it should and for my highest good. I truly believe that out of this situation only good will come.
It’s obvious to me now that I had been pushing a situation that was no longer serving me. I was trying to keep something alive that I needed to either change or stop altogether. I’m still not clear on my destination and what to do next, but in surrendering. I trust that Spirit will lead me to the next right choice.

Stop Staying Stuck
I am learning the importance now more than ever of simply enjoying the moment and being grateful for all of the things that I take for granted every day, and there are lots! I am learning to let go of my attachments to material things, people and situations. It’s a very empowering feeling to let go of those attachments. It doesn’t mean you stop caring, it means you are no longer a co-dependant. Your happiness no longer requires a particular situation, thing or person.

You are happy because you choose to be.

I am learning to be in the moment. To enjoy whatever it is that I’m doing without letting my mind wander to the so many things I could or ‘should’ be doing. That in itself is very freeing and it really is meditation. Being focused and enjoying the moment, without thoughts of past or present.  Some days it is still struggle to keeping my thoughts centered on one thing, but that is life. That is the process. The important thing is that you try. Don’t beat yourself up when you fall down or don’t get something completely right.

Pick yourself up and try again.

We have up to 70,000 thoughts a day and 90% of those thoughts are about yesterday. One of the most empowering things I’ve learned – courtesy of Louise Hay – is that I can actually choose my thoughts. I can actually retrain my mind. This is good new! We no longer have to stay stuck in our own prison, our own hell. There can be a lot of comfort in staying there, because on some level we feel that we need to be punished for all the things we believe we have done wrong. But, trust me you don’t need to be punished.

Forgive yourself and make the commitment to focus on the good in your life. Believe that you deserve good.

A long time ago I became a believer of signs. I watch for them and I expect them to show up for me. Every day I pick an oracle card for myself. It is my way of tuning into my intuition and listening to the messages that Spirit has for me. My cards for today were from the deck by Colette Baron-Reid; Coming to the edge, in the reversed position, and All tied up, also reversed. The meanings for both are similar and very obvious to me. I am or have been keeping myself tied up in situation I can easily let go of by changing my thoughts. What I find interesting is that my thoughts have recently been around renovating my house, specifically my kitchen. My kitchen is the heart of the house, it is in the center and the place where we all gather, especially for family get togethers. What I take from this is that my subconscious is sending me signs to renovate my thought process. To let go and change my viewpoint. It is  entirely up to me.

Change your point of view. Focus on love. Both giving and receiving. 

I have been using the following mantra in my daily meditation to help me stay centered and surrendering to the process; “Slow and steady. Enjoy the process.”

Where do you need to renovate your thoughts? Where can you slow down in your life to surrender and trust the process? In the past I would have written this post in a day and posted it the same day. I always feel a rush to ‘get things done’.  As of now I am learning to slow down. I am taking my time and waiting a little longer. I edit a little more and add or delete things as I need to. I am savouring the process and allowing myself to listen to and trust my intuition, going with inspiration. There is a fine line I think between surrendering and procrastination and it’s something I give thought to often  and ask myself the following questions:

Am I ready or do I need more time?
Am I surrendering or am I procrastinating?

It’s most important to be honest with yourself and then being okay with whatever answer you get, not beating yourself up when the answer is not what you want it to be.

Much Love,
Jennifer

P.S. Don’t be shy. Leave me a comment I love hearing from you!

How I Intend To Make 2017 My Best Year Yet By Choosing Love.

Are you ready for 2017?
The better question might be, Is 2017 ready for you?
What story are you going to write in the new year?
How will your story unfold this year?
The truth is that none of us really know what life will bring us. However, we all have the power to make the choices that will make our journey so much easier.

When I choose to view through the lens of love, compassion and kindness for myself as well as others. When I set intentions and goals specific to my own journey and am willing to see things differently than the way they are presented to me in this moment, I allow space for miracles to be delivered to me.

As I prepare to ring in 2017 I ask myself how do I prepare? How can I  make sure that this year will be a great year?

I make the following commitments and intentions for this year;
I will learn my lessons from the past year and let go of judgement, judgement of myself and others. I will forgive. I will forgive myself for any perceived mistakes I made, judgments I had, and fear I held onto, and I will forgive others for not treating me as I wish they would have.
I will release the need to be right and to think I know what someone else should or should not do, and remember that their journey is unique to them and it’s none of my business how they live it.
I will remind myself that the opposite of this is also true for me. I am a unique individual with my own journey and perception and it is none of my business how others perceive me or think I ‘should’ live my life.
It is sometimes too easy to project my judgement on others and to take on their judgements. This year I intend to remind myself daily that this does not serve my highest purpose nor does it help the people around me.

I will remain curious about life. I can never know what life is going to bring me, I usually undersell it and myself. I promise myself that this year I will remain open, curious and say ‘yes’ to life more often, while also setting those important healthy boundaries, saying ‘no’ when I need to. I will honor myself when my feelings are saying; “don’t treat me that way,” “I don’t want to do that,” etc.

I will spend less time around people that drain me and I will always be conscious of the energy I take in from others, and responsible for the energy I bring with me.

I will acknowledge that I may not know what is around the corner, but regardless of the circumstances I may find myself in I will remember that I always have the ability to make a choice. I can choose to view through love or through fear. I can choose happiness or anger, frustration or acceptance. I have the God given ability to decide whether I will be strong and powerful or small and powerless. I get to choose through which lens I see others. I can view them through the eyes of judgement or compassion. I can acknowledge that if someone or something creates a reaction in me this year there is a reason. What is the reason? Why am I reacting this way? When I am open to these thoughts, I allow myself to learn a lesson, do some healing and move on.

This is not a resolution. I never really liked that word as it has taken on, for me a judgment of how I didn’t do things right in the past and probably won’t this time either. Rather, these are my intentions and commitments to myself. These intentions and commitments will help me to remain open and receptive to what life offers me this year while creating positive change.

I will also print this post out and keep it where I can remind myself often when I falter, as we all do and as someone once said;

“It’s not how many times you have fallen down, it’s how many times you get back up after being knocked down.”

I hope that you find your magic and miracles and that you remember who you are this year and always remember that you have a choice.

Much Love and Peace!
Jennifer

Be Patient And Enjoy The Dance.

Today is Winter Solstice.

It’s the first day of winter and marks the day when all the days after it begin to get a little longer, bringing us into the new life of springtime.
I look forward to this day every year, as it marks a turning point. The day when I can look forward into what the next season has to offer, while at the same time enjoying the stillness of the current one.
I think it’s important to recognize this. The excitement that comes from looking forward and anticipating what’s to come, while at the same time enjoying the perceived stillness of the current situation. Not just when it comes to the seasons obviously, but in any and every area of your life.
I heard a quote recently about dancing. It went something like this;

“The point of the dance is not to get to the end. The point is to enjoy the dance.”

This really resonated with me. How often do we hear that we need to enjoy the journey? I hear it often, mostly in my own head.
How many times have I told myself, especially over the past year that this won’t last forever and to enjoy it while it lasts. I’m talking of course about my forced stillness. This goes for every and any area of our lives though.
Life is movement, but sometimes it’s stillness. It is constantly changing and fluctuating and one of the biggest obstacles we create for ourselves is to keep waiting for the ‘end’ to arrive. The end being that destination that looks so good to you.

The destination might be the weight you want to lose, the soul mate you want to meet, the perfect career your searching for, whatever it is there is a purpose and a magic to the journey. There are lessons that you need to learn before you arrive at that perfect destination and if you don’t learn the lessons needed, you will continue to search and not find the destination your were hoping for. You may find you settle because you’re tired of waiting, but the waiting has a purpose.

I know I definitely need to learn patience. Patience will get us to our destination faster than struggling, pushing, and reacting. I know that sounds strange, but think about it. If you lose patience with the waiting, this is when you settle or make the mistake of trying to push your way through like a stubborn bull. What does this accomplish? You end up getting exactly what you don’t want. You end up gaining weight, or staying where you are while never learning how to love and appreciate yourself. You find yourself in yet another relationship that does not honour your soul. You accept a job that you don’t really want, because you feel desperate and rushed to jump in.

Slow down. This is what winter reminds us. Slow down and enjoy the stillness while it lasts. Before you know it we will be in the midst of summer, rushing and running, staying up later, enjoying new activities and all the wonderful things that come with it.

Be still. Be quiet. Be patient.

Much love and peace,
Jennifer

How learning to forgive can set you free.

design

Everything is forgivable. This may be hard to hear and you might want to jump into defensiveness and ask; “How can you forgive someone that has hurt you so terribly?”

Forgiving someone does not mean that you are going to tolerate a specific behaviour in the present or condone past behaviour.

Forgiveness is a necessary and very important part of the healing process.

During my Woman On Fire workshop last week we did some deep healing work around forgiveness. I believe there are a lot of people, and maybe you’re one, who believes that the wrong that has been done to them is so bad that it is unforgivable. You might feel that to forgive that person would be to say; “What you did is okay and I will forget about it.” This is not the case.

Forgiveness is about taking your power back. Think about the last time you walked into a room and you saw someone you were angry with. You may have had some of the following feelings or sensations;

Stomach tightened,
Heart beating faster,
Face and jaw clenched,
Chest tightness / pain,
Sweaty palms,
Panic or Anxiety,
Rage,
Self-doubt,
Hatred,
Crying,
Shaking,
These feelings can range from the very subtle to the very obvious. When they are subtle you may be tempted to deny they exist at all.

Are the feelings and emotions listed above ones that you want to hang onto forever? I hope you’re answer is, ‘No, I don’t want to feel this way any longer.’ So, how do you walk into a room with someone that has wronged you terribly and not feel these feelings? How do you let go?

First you acknowledge what they did.

Then maybe you confide in a close friend, someone that you can trust to hold a safe space for you while not enabling you to stay stuck in your anger and bitterness.

You may want to get good and angry. Yell, scream, hit a pillow or a punching bag, stomp your feet, anything you need to do to move the angry energy.

You might choose to do mirror work. This is a very powerful and effective way of forgiving others as well as yourself. Looking deep into your own eyes say;

“I forgive (persons name) for (what they did).”

This can be very difficult to do, so start slowly and take your time. However, if you find you are on a roll keep going and get out as much ‘stuff’ as you can.

The person that you need to forgive is your salvation. That is to say that this is the person that can free you from the hell you have been living in. By forgiving them you allow yourself to stop being a victim and take your power back. You allow yourself to stand completely and fully in your own power.

I can tell you from personal experience there is nothing more empowering than forgiving someone and moving on with your life.

It may not be easy. Sometimes the pain of letting go feels as bad and as deep as the wound itself. It feels as though, by forgiving that person you are letting them off the hook and saying what you did to me is okay. Forgiveness is important so that you can think of that person or walk into a room where they are and not feel the emotions listed above, but rather to be able to feel the following:

Happy
Comfortable
A sense of pride in yourself
Self-esteem
Self-love
Self-acceptance
Calm
Loved
Beautiful

Aren’t these the feelings you would prefer to feel for the rest of your life where ever you go?

Ask yourself this question. What are you gaining by holding onto your anger? How does it serve you to hold onto your bitterness and resentment? What needs to happen for you to be able to let go?

Whatever your answer, know that you have the power to forgive and to set yourself free. It is entirely up to you.

A Course In Miracles states this;

“I am the light of the world.
Forgiveness is my function as the light of the world.
The light of the world brings peace to every mind through forgiveness.”

Our purpose on this planet is to be love. Not just to show love, but to be the embodiment of love and compassion to ourselves and others. We can only do this fully when we can forgive ourselves and others. This brings healing not just to us but to the world, and the world is in desperate need of healing my friend. If each of us does the work we need to do in order to heal, then it is possible to share that energy with others. Imagine what would happen if we all embraced our healing and our power. What if each one of us focussed on love and peace for ourselves. We would then experience a truly healed and empowered world and I don’t know about you, but this is what I would like to see.

Love and peace,
Jennifer

When you focus on love, love wins!

Why do we find it so necessary to talk about things that we don’t like or would like to get past?

I can be in the middle of a situation that I don’t want to be in and wish that I could change, and yet I talk about it repeatedly. I think we do this for a few different reasons, and it all depends on the person and the situation certainly.

Sometimes it might be that we want acknowledgement from someone else that we are right to feel traumatized and upset over whatever is bothering us, and so we keep ourselves stuck in victim mode by sharing it over and over again.

Another reason might be that we’re trying to make sense of the lesson in the situation and by sharing it with others we hope they might be able to show something back to us that we didn’t see before.

There are also those times it can be that we’re actually trying to clear that energy. We know subconsciously that if we hold onto it; we’ll stay stuck in it, and we want to move it up and out. What I have come to understand is that the longer you hold onto any situation and the more you share it, the longer you keep that energy alive and growing. If you want something to be over the best use of your energy is to move it up and out and then to let it go and let the Universe figure it out for you.

We often get caught up in drama, whether it’s a friend’s or something we see in the media, and we become upset, infuriated and we want it to change. I can certainly understand the need for those thoughts and feelings, but here’s the thing. As long as you are focused on that thing that you no longer want you give it your energy. That energy causes it to grow and evolve into something bigger and possibly worse.I don’t know how many times have I heard someone talk about someone else that they don’t like, and in the wishing that they could change that person and their opinion, they continue to bash them or the situation to try to make others see and become outraged.

This doesn’t do any good.

Do we need knowledge about the situation? Absolutely! However, I believe that we need to allow others to come to their own conclusions and figure things out on their own. We need to find our own resolutions and allow other people to do the same. To understand that not everyone will agree with me and understand my point of view and that’s okay.

I recently had a conversation with someone, and we talked about the previous week and the struggle I had gone through. On one level I know that I needed to purge it and allow it to be released. On another level I know that I need to now let it go, or I run the risk of staying stuck and I really don’t want that. So I’ve made a deal with myself to no longer talk about it, but to let it go. I’ve done my venting and now I am ready to move on. This way, I know that the Universe can bring me a new experience and new lesson to learn from.

As I stated in my last post, I am a willing student of life, and as long as I am willing to learn I make my life that much easier to navigate and to go from one lesson to another.

Let’s also take a look at politics because I see it happen so frequently there. There is a person running that you don’t want to win. However, instead of focusing on the people you do want and talking up their wonderful traits and why they would do such a good job; you bash the other person, point fingers and talk about what a horrible person they are. You are therefore creating that space where that person will get exactly what you do not want. They win. They win because you gave them the energy to do so. You and all the other people that are pointing fingers and talking about what a bad choice they are. You could have made better use of your energy and your God-given power by talking about the person you like instead.

When you focus on the negative, the negative will always win.

When you focus on love, love will win.

image

 

What I didn’t want was exactly what I got.

“A mind out of control will play interesting tricks on you; directed, it’s your greatest friend.” –Tony Robbins

As I sit here writing this I am dealing with some pain once again. It’s not exactly the same as it was a few months ago thankfully. Its most likely my body letting me know that I have been doing too much and going too fast and I need to slow down.

I have fought with my thoughts over the past week and a half. Thoughts of fear, guilt, shame, resentment, bitterness, anger and depression. I tried very hard to balance these thoughts with the ones I desperately want to believe. I say my affirmations every day.
“I love life and life loves me. ”
“Every cell in my body radiates healthy vibrant energy.”
“I am completely healed at every level.”

I’ve been trying, I really have and yet there’s still something in me that just doesn’t want to believe it. I’ve been doing my mirror work. Sometimes I will say to myself as I looked deep into my own eyes, “I am worthy. I am committed to standing in my worthiness.” I still have trouble believing it.
A couple of weeks ago I had set my schedule to work. I didn’t think it was anything crazy, I wasn’t taking clients every day and I was making sure to have lots of rest time and yet by the end of the week the ache was back. The pain in one or both legs. The signal from my body and nerves that I was overdoing it. But, I had been feeling SO GOOD! I didn’t want to go back to lying on the couch all day and I had things I needed to get done.
As it turns out, what I didn’t want was exactly what I got, partly because of my own stubbornness. So, what did I do? I beat myself up, because after all whose fault was it? It was my own.
I turned my anger and desperate thoughts inward and found myself in a state of overwhelming fear and depression which kept me in my bed for days.

I wondered why didn’t I listen? How could I do this again? What if something is really wrong, again? What if I’ve gone so far backward that I will need surgery again? What if? What if? What if? You get the point. It was terribly exhausting and kept me down and out for a few days as I tried desperately to fight it.
I also felt bad for my clients. I had just started working again and now here I was needing to cancel on them, not to mention the workshop I was in the middle of.
I beat myself up for this as well.

Just when I needed it, I visited a healer friend of mine and she did Cranialsacral Therapy on me. We released the tissues. She reminded me how powerful I am and that I was allowing my thoughts to take control and keep me stuck. I of course knew this, I do this work after all and I teach my clients this as well. However, everyone and I mean everyone of us gets stuck and needs a helping hand sometimes. If I am not allowing myself to receive the help I need to get me back on track then what kind of coach would I be.

In any case I felt a lot better after my session. I am still sore today, but feel that I am getting better. I am feeling more open to receiving and am listening easier to my own intuition.
I have made my follow up appointments  to help get me back on track and I will take it easy and listen to my body until it tells me that I am ready to move forward again.

I don’t know what’s around the corner, but I am feeling better about meeting it.

image

I felt great getting out of bed this morning, but my body quickly told me that I still need rest with some light movement. I decided to go for a check-in at Physio for some more guidance and a necessary check in with someone that I trust and she agreed that exercise right now, even a small amount is not in my best interest. My body is telling me to slow down and I must listen and take some time to allow it to heal some more. I will continue walking a little everyday as I know that an absence of movement is not good for me either.

Our bodies need to move in order to move the energy so it doesn’t become completely stuck. I must once again find that balance between movement and rest. Activity and relaxation. Taking action and being still. This is the lesson that I am learning right now and so I must become a very good student and practice my lessons daily until I have released the need for this particular lesson and can become a student for a different lesson. As long as I am a willing participant in my life lessons I will have the ability to move through them easier and with less pain.

A passage I read today in A Course In Miracles says this:

“This is a course in how to know yourself. You have taught what you are, but have not let what you are teach you. You have been very careful to avoid the obvious, and not to see the real cause and effect relationship that is perfectly apparent. Yet within you is everything you taught. What can it be that has not learned it?”

That passage really resonates with me this morning. If I am to learn from that passage what I take away is that I am teaching others who I am and what I have learned, but I am not really seeing my own truth and the truth of my own circumstances. I am not really seeing the truth of my being. I may catch small glimpses of it, and I so want to know the truth, but I allow myself to get caught up in my ego and fears. We all do this. We see what we want and ignore the rest until we are either open to seeing it or it screams in our face. Am I the wounded healer? I really don’t want to be, but that is the message I am hearing quite loudly right now.

I definitely see synchronicity happening in my life. Mirror work is one of those lessons that I teach and that I do use in my own life. It is interesting to me that this is the latest lesson I have taught in my workshop and that while preparing the mirrors I was to hand out as gifts to the class I was not really looking in the mirror. I was too busy preparing and try to get it done and in doing so I hurt myself and now I need to take a step back. How interesting!

So what is my lesson? What am I to learn from this?

My understanding is this. I need to look deeper. I need to go deeper within myself to find my own answers. I need to focus on the reflection that is being shown to me and realize that part of me that is in need of healing. If I see something that upsets me, what part of me is in need of being healed?
If I’m being honest right now, it’s looking deep at myself that upsets me and still causes me to look away at times. I find myself focussed a little too much on my superficial self and what I think I am or want others to see of me, and not wanting to go deeper within. I find the statement that I continue to go back to is, “I’ve done a lot of work!”

“Yes you have”, my intuition tells me, “But that does not mean that more work is not necessary. It does not mean you should  stop the process and keep yourself from going a little deeper. Looking a little further at what needs healing. In doing you’re own work you inspire others to do the same.”

I will continue doing the work and doing my best to notice the signs that come up for me to point the way. Colette Baron Reid would call them Cledons. Those messages that show up to lead you on your path. An overheard conversation. Something someone says to you that really makes you say, “Huh!”. A song, post or article that makes you think. Pay attention!
I’ve received some interesting messages and Cledons today and will allow myself to be led.

With Love and Peace!
Jennifer

How I Used Affirmations To Change My Life

What are limiting beliefs?

Limiting means to limit. To hold yourself back. To keep yourself stuck in the same cycle.

A belief is something that either consciously or unconsciously you hold to be true.

So if we put that together a limiting belief is any thought that you have, consciously or subconsciously that limits you to stay where you are and that you believe to be true.

So how do you change it?

Believe it or not, you do have control over your thoughts. They do not control you unless you allow them to. I never knew this until a few years ago. I always believed that my thoughts were what they were, mostly negative and I had no power over them. They ran my life, and not in a good way.

I also never realized that negative thinking was an addiction. This makes sense to me now that I look back on my life. I was surrounded by addiction and addictive personalities, especially negativity, so it only makes sense that I would carry that with me. Until I chose to let it go and learn something new.

When I was in my thirties I was going through a rough time. I was not in a good place. I was losing control of my dark thoughts and had reached a place that I just couldn’t handle anymore. It had always been my duty, I thought to take care of everyone else and as a young mother of two beautiful boys, I was beginning to lose myself. It was at this time that I found a book that started some big changes for me. It was called You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. In her book, Louise talks about limiting beliefs and affirmations. I had never heard these terms before. Although I had been seeing a therapist for a while and I was starting to realize that I had power and could start to take it back, this book changed everything about the way I saw myself. You see healing isn’t about focussing on the ‘other’ people. The people that have hurt you, although you do need to do the healing work to let that go. Healing is about focussing on you. It’s about changing the way you see yourself and stepping Affirmations can change your life! into your power. When I realized this and started to allow myself to face my darkness, accept my shadow and all my limiting beliefs for what they were I could then start to let everything fall away and embrace new thoughts, new actions, new behaviors that brought me to a healthier and happier place.

Before I found this book I had done some work on me. A lot of work actually. It’s no surprise to me now that I was attracted to her book when I was. I was ready! I was ready for something new and I was open to anything I could get my hands on to help me on this new path. As I mentioned before I had been seeing a therapist for a while and that started opening my eyes to my own power. A few years later I came across energy work and frequently visited a friend of mine who would do energy testing and with that I would do the releasing of emotions and their physical manifestations.

So to get back to the limiting beliefs and affirmations, I began paying close attention to my thoughts. I wasn’t meditating yet, but I was paying attention. I noticed just how many of my thoughts were negative. A lot!! I probably spent 90% of my day thinking in a negative way. I stopped watching the media and started paying attention to what other people would say and noticed how much negativity and fear there is out there.

Tell me if any of these resonate with you:

I can’t exercise.
It’s too hard to eat healthy.
There’s never enough time to do all the things I need to do.
I never have enough money to do what I want.
I don’t know enough to be able to get the job I really want.
There aren’t any jobs out there for me.
No one cares about me. (This can relate to friends, family or both)
I’m not supported.

I was tired of feeling powerless and overwhelmed.

I was so tired of fighting with all of these negative thoughts and I knew I needed to make some changes. I started to do the work. In her book, she gives lessons to do in the form of homework. I did them every day. I’m not going to say I got the hang of it right away, but I did it. In the beginning, it’s like a tennis match. You hit the ball and it comes back to you so you hit it again. Negative to positive over and over.

I decided to try an experiment and test this theory out. I had signed up for a conference in San Diego where I would be learning how to teach Louise’s philosophy. At this time I was working at a job where I didn’t feel included, cared for or supported. I started playing around with the affirmations. Every day I said the same one, sometimes more than once.

“I am surrounded by loving, supportive, encouraging friends.”

I went to the conference to find myself surrounded by the most amazing, supportive women a lot of whom I still consider dear friends even though we are all miles apart. I had never in my life experienced so many women (there were forty of us and one man) who were aligned to the same purpose. A large group that was not clicky or mean, but supportive and encouraging of each other. I began to realize that the situations I had always found myself in where a manifestation of my limiting beliefs. I believed deep down that women couldn’t be supportive of each other. I believed there would always be an undercurrent of jealousy and backstabbing and that’s what seemed to manifest in my life. However, when I started changing those beliefs with affirmations things began to change in a magnificent way.

If it sounds like work that’s because it is. If you are thinking that it sounds hard to do, then I can promise you that’s a limiting belief that you need to work on. Everything in life that is worth anything is going to take some work. You have two choices right now. You can continue doing what you’re doing and getting the same results or you can begin to do the work and make the changes. Work is only hard if you believe it to be.

You have to decide what’s worth it. I decided that changing my thoughts to more positive ones that are focussed on love, peace and happiness were definitely worth it for me. I decided I needed more. I wanted more and I was tired of being tired.

Affirmations help to change the soundtrack in your head that keeps going round and round replaying those old worn out negative statements. So I’ll give you your first assignment. Repeat this affirmation often every day for a week and tell me how you feel by the end of the week.

“I am surrounded by loving, compassionate people who encourage and support me.”

With that statement focus on the people around you that give you that energy. When someone enters your space that is not what you have affirmed, walk away. They are not in alignment with your new focus, your new energy. It will be a bit of a tennis match at first, but keep it up and let me know how you’re doing.

If you are interested in learning about affirmations and the power they can have in your life I hope you’ll join me for my upcoming workshop Woman On Fire.

Quinoa Veggie Salad (Cleanse)

I’ve been feeling the need to purge lately.

Over the past six months I have tried to eat as healthy as possible under my circumstances. My husband, who has been doing all of the cooking has been pretty good about making me healthy meals. We’re not quite on the same page all the time when it comes to food, but he knows how important it is to me. It’s certainly been a challenge not being able to cook for myself due to my temporary situation and that, in combination with my complete lack of movement has led to some weight gain and muscle loss.

This however, is starting to change. I am more and more able to move, make my own meals and help out in the kitchen. And I gotta tell you it feels absolutely amazing!!

So now with my increased movement (physio, walking and I tried a yoga class this morning, yay me!) I have decided it’s time to get myself back on track. Although I am not a fan of harsh detoxes and cleanses I do believe that gentle cleanses are important. So what I did this week was stop ingesting processed sugar as much as possible (it’s really a sneaky ingredient). I also stopped drinking coffee and switched to water and loose leaf tea. I also stayed away from dairy which wasn’t hard since I don’t consume dairy other than a small amount of cheese and once in a while I may have a little yogurt or cottage cheese.

With that, I made a wonderful Quinoa Veggie Salad which is full of vitamins, minerals and ingredients that are helpful in cleansing the system.

You can, of course enjoy this salad while still enjoying your regular healthy diet. I don’t recommend a lot of restrictions as a rule. I find that strict cleanses and detoxes are too hard on the body.  That being said, it is important to rid the body of excess toxins and harmful ingredients while also including foods that will help heal and cleanse on a regular basis.

The most important thing to remember with this recipe or any recipe that is meant to cleanse and rid the body of toxins it is very important to use ingredients that are pure, unprocessed and / or organic. The purpose after all is to rid the body of toxins not replace them with something else.

Ingredients

Salad

1 cup cooked quinoa, rinsed and strained (I used the red variety, but you can use the white also)
1/2 cucumber, peeled and cut into quarters
1 cup cherry or grape tomatoes, sliced in half
1/2 onion, diced
1 red pepper, diced
Quinoa Veggie Salad1 avocado, diced (optional, but I highly recommend it for its healthy fats)
1 handful of cilantro (I find cilantro overpowering so I use it sparingly. It is great for cleansing heavy metals from the body)
1 handful spinach, diced
1 handful kale, diced
Salt to taste

Note: You can add just about any other veggie or green that you want. Build it to your taste. When it comes to the greens add as much or as little at you prefer. I tend to measure by my handful.

Dressing

1/2 cup good quality olive oil
juice from 1/2 fresh lemon (NOT the stuff in the bottle!)
1 thumb of fresh ginger, grated
1 tbsp pure honey (NOT store-bought) (Click the link for a great source of pure honey as well as apple cider vinegar)
3-4 garlic cloves, diced
1 tbsp good quality apple cider vinegar

Directions:

For the salad:

  • Rinse the quinoa overnight and when ready cook one cup quinoa to two cups of water. Cook on high until boiling and then simmer for 15 minutes. Rinse, drain and cool in the fridge.
  • In a large bowl combine the rest of the salad ingredients.
  • When the quinoa is cooled off add to your bowl of veggies.

For the dressing:

  • Combine all ingredients and let sit 5 minutes so the flavors will intermingle with each other.
  • Pour over the quinoa salad and mix together. Allow to sit for another 10-15 minutes so the flavors with continue to mingle.
  • When ready pour into a bowl and enjoy!

The ingredients in this recipe are highly cleansing with anti-oxidant and anti-inflammatory properties. As mentioned above it is important to use high-quality ingredients to get the benefits of this wonderful recipe.

This salad if combined with a healthy, clean diet while staying away from sugar, dairy, and caffeine for just a few days, will allow your body to release toxins and detox the body of chemicals you may be carrying in your system unknowingly. You may find your body starts to flush out what it has been holding onto for some time. You will find yourself feeling less bloated, more energetic and healthier all around.

Much Love,
Jennifer

 

Asian Noodle Salad

Well I’m slowly getting back up and around and able to do some small things around the house. Most of the time I still need help, but I have learned to accept it (something that has always been difficult for me). Delicious Asian Noodle Salad

I found this recipe online and wanted to give it a try so I asked my awesome hubby, who is always willing to give me a hand and we tag teamed it. I was really happy with how it turned out and with the picture as well. It really does this dish justice. Be warned this makes a huge batch so if you’re making it just for you, you may want to cut the ingredients. It was perfect for us because Paul’s willing to try almost anything and the boys wouldn’t touch it, which meant leftovers the next couple of days.

Ingredients:

1 box of thin spaghetti (We used half a box, but then had to add more.)
3-4 carrots, julienned
2 sweet peppers, sliced
1 4oz bag of bean sprouts (I didn’t have these on hand so I left them out)
1 English cucumber, peeled and sliced (The recipe called for 3, but I found that too much)
3 scallions, sliced (I would have like a bit more of these actually)
1 bunch of fresh cilantro, chopped (I find cilantro quite overpowering so I only used a very small handful)
1/2 head of napa cabbage, sliced ( didn’t have any of this either)
1/2 head or more purple cabbage, sliced
1/2 bunch kale, leaves torn off the stalks and shredded
2 cups peanuts, chopped *optional

Dressing:

1/2 cup olive oil
1/3 cup low-sodium soy sauce
1/4 cup oyster sauce or shrimp sauce
1/4 cup rice wine vinegar
1/4 cup brown sugar (I subbed coconut sugar)
3 Tbsp chopped fresh ginger *Mmmmm
2 Tbsp sesame oil
2-3 cloves garlic, chopped *To me more is better!

Directions:

For the salad: Bring a pot of water to a boil. Cook the spaghetti to al dente according to the package directions. Drain, rinse and let cool.

Mix together the cooked spaghetti, carrots, peppers, bean sprouts, cucumbers, scallions, cilantro, napa cabbage, purple cabbage, and kale. Add peanuts if using and toss together.

For the dressing: Whisk together the olive oil, soy sauce, oyster or shrimp sauce, rice wine vinegar, brown or coconut sugar, ginger, sesame oil and garlic in a medium bowl.

Pour the dressing over the salad and mix together with tongs or your hands. If the salad seems a little dry, just mix up more of the wet ingredients of the dressing and throw it in.

As you can see it’s all a very organic process and fun to get in there and mix it all up. I love the colors and flavors of this salad. It’s very fresh, healthy and nourishing. Play around with it and make it your own. Tell me what you did, I’d love to hear from you!

Enjoy! xo

Adapted from: www.thepioneerwoman.com